Homemade S’mores Pastries (Pop Tart Copy Cat)
Does anyone have some tips on dealing with anger? When I get angry, I feel it fill my body and I have no healthy way to let it out, so excuse me while I vent for
way longer than necessary just a minute. I went to a Thai restaurant and ordered a vegetarian dish with tofu. After eating a small amount, I discovered a rogue piece of chicken in my meal. Needless to say, vegetarian Kelly was not happy but the damage was done and any impending intestinal issues couldn’t be avoided. The waitress asks if I wanted a box and I explained what happened and why I wasn’t happy. She asked if I wanted it remade, so I told her I was basically afraid it would happen again. Here I’ll point out that I was doing an amazing job of not yelling, crying, or making a scene of any sort, which for me is impressive.
The waitress offered no apology, did nothing to assuage my fears that it was raining chicken in their kitchen, and still made me pay for 75% (!!!!!) of the meal. Seriously, lady? You might think “Restaurant policy, not her fault” which I would agree with if I hadn’t heard her telling the people in the back she thought I should pay because I suggested Josh take the leftovers in front of her. Seriously? She’d rather perfectly good (though meat infected) food be thrown away than eaten by someone else? I sat there for a solid fifteen minutes debating if I should leave her a tip, and ultimately left only 10% (and felt like a terrible person for it). If you eat meat, you probably don’t understand what the big deal is but at this point in my life, I haven’t eaten chicken in 13+ years and my body reacts terribly to it – even something that’s just touched chicken (especially a super liquid-y dish like this one) or has chicken broth.
So. Needless to say, I’m full of rage and wrote this long, angry post alongside a recipe that is nothing but happy. S’mores Pop Tarts were my favorite thing as a kid and I’ve been sad for well over a decade that they have gelatin. I’ve been trying for at least that long to find a replacement and for the last 3 years to create one on my own. I finally succeeded last weekend and have been doing a happy dance ever since. Bonus: they’re whole grain and can be made vegan. I’ll be baking another batch and anger eating my way through them. If anyone wants to send a massage my way to de-stress, I’ll send them these pastries in return
- 4 whole wheat graham cracker sheets processed into crumbs (~1/2 c)
- ⅔ c white whole wheat flour
- ¼ tsp salt
- 1 – 2 tbsp sugar
- 3 tbsp neutral oil of choice
- 2 tbsp cold water
- 1 tbsp maple syrup
- ⅓ – ½ c marshmallow fluff (Vegans, see note below)
- 20-ish chocolate chips
- Extra chocolate for icing
- Preheat oven to 375°F and prepare a baking sheet with nonstick spray or parchment paper.
- Mix the graham crackers, flour, salt, and sugar.
- Add the oil, water, and maple syrup. Stir to combine (will be crumbly).
- Pour the crumbly dough into a plastic bag and press together with your hands to form into a ball.
- Place the ball between 2 sheets of wax paper and roll out until thin. You may want to grease your wax paper if you have a tendency to tear dough.
- Cut the dough into 6 squares/rectangles of approximately the same size.
- Add a dollop of marshmallow fluff to half of the squares, sprinkle with chocolate chips, and top with a plain piece of dough. Press the sides together with a fork to seal – patch any tears with scraps of dough.
- Place on prepared baking sheet and bake for 8 – 10 minutes until the pastry has lightly browned edges.
- While cooling, microwave a small handful of chocolate chips and spread on the tops of the pastries.
- Eat the same day or freeze until use (heat from frozen in the oven or toaster oven until warm).
You may get more than 3 pastries out of this recipe, depending on how large you make your pastries. Be careful handling the dough – it tears and sticks rather easily!
You can freeze the final product or freeze prior to baking. If freezing raw pastries, you’ll want them to thaw slightly prior to baking or your chocolate chips wont melt.
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